Even miracle takes time


Bad mood


I got a bad mood, a very bad one. And the worst part is, she did not really understand what I was feeling. And it seems she still does not. This is fuckin hard and complicated. I feel like I want to get mad at someone, but I dont know who. 

I am sorry, I have changed

I feel ashamed, really. It felt like she slapped me in my face because what i have done to her. I know that i have made a lot and a lot of mistakes. Time has changed me into a bad boyfriend. I am not the person i used to be. She fell in love with old me, not new me. I made her cry several times for unimportant reasons and those all were on me. 

I am sorry, my woman. I am fully awared that i have changed. And i beg your forgiveness for this. I promise to me myself that i will purify my love, to just love you. 

Give me a chance… 

Fight for you

This year is gonna be the very first year for to fight very hard for you. It is gonna be a long and difficult time for both of us. I know it. I must be patient, and I should make you so too. But trust me honey, nothing lasts forever, even this. 

The time will soon come, for you and for me. Just be patient… 

This Year

Wow… I am amazed with everything that happened in the end of previous year. Honestly, i did not expect that fast progress in only several days. Yet, Alloh swt showed His will in a very easy way. And now, this time forth, i only have one goal. I will do whatever it takes to make it comes true. I know that the chance is very small when i observe this from now’s point of view. But i believe that everything has got a place and time. A night will never be able to use time more than 12 hours and hold a day to come. A day will find its own way.

Finally, all i need to do are thinking harder, working harder, and loving more.

Ya Alloh, strengthen us, make us patient, and make us be grateful for everything. Aamiin… 

what is wrong?

I am sorry. I often say such kind of words. You may not like it. Well, you said so. It was just the way I express what I feel for you. I am gonna make as real as I can. But, you know, sometimes I just say it naturally because honestly, it was what I felt for real. I beg you, somewhen, when I say something like that incidetally, please, please dont comment with such a word, ever. It hurt so much and it still. I beg you.. It was kinda hard for me to sleep you know. I cant stop think about it. What is wrong with that, what is wrong with me, what is wrong with you? I am still wondering…

aku gila

Pernah liat orang gila? Tentu saja pernah. Setiap orang gila mempunyai kegilaan yang berbeda-beda. Termasuk aku. Aku tidak tau sejak kapan aku menyetel lagu yang sama berulang-ulang setiap hari, setiap waktu. Padahal ada puluhan giga lagu di dalam laptopku. Meskipun aku tidak tau ini penyakit gila nomer berapa, tapi aku tau, aku sedang mengidap penyakit gila yang parah.